a glance of memory

I just watched a great teenage movie that famous in 2010. This musical movie got a nice appreciation, especially from young audiences. But watching this movie made me little sad. It’s not bcoz of the ending, but the actor. Yeah, one of them reminds me of him. Someone that made me crazy on the half of early 2011. In every scene which there’s this actor, I couldn’t watch it seriously. My mind went away for a while, thinking about him.

This post got down about him. The boy that I met in the early first semester. He’s just my type. At the first sight, I straightaway had a crush on him. Then I just ruminated over him. Every time I saw him, it’s like there were butterflies on my stomach. I was glorious happy. Talking to him even made me can’t stop smiling after that. Hahaha so ridiculous.

I remember the moment when we texting for the first time, on early New Year. I texted first then it continued with different topics. Most of our topics are about soccer. That’s why we usually texting in the midnight till dawn, sometimes. Then somehow surprisely he texted:

heh miss nainggolan happy valentine ya

Oh my God, I felt like my feet wasn’t on the ground! It was 11pm on February 14th. It’s late, but it’s okay for me. Initially we texted once a week, every Sunday. Then someday he texted me every night. I thought he start to love me. Couldn’t deny that I loved this boy.

But it’s not a love story with happy ending.

There’s a girl, maybe he think, that better than me. I don’t know, my friend said I’m much better than her. I did not trust it at first, but when I see her, I couldn’t say anything. He should have choose me, not her! I’m smarter, I’m more beautiful, I’m fucking better than her in many things! Hey boy, are you blind, hah? Can’t you see that I love you more?

But I cannot hate him. I have no idea about my feeling. I know that his heart is not for me, but I still can’t get my head every time I see him. I even cannot hate that girl, it’s not her fault. Classy, but love never gets wrong. For now, I admit that he’s still on my mind,a little. But this love feeling won’t grow anymore, I hope.

There are some Indonesian songs that get on my above condition. Thank God my tears never drop every time I hear the songs.  They are:

Bila Rasaku Ini Rasamu – Kerispatih

Apalah (Arti Menunggu) – Raisa

Apalah Arti Cinta – She

Kau Bukan Dirinya – Audy

Bukan Dia Tapi Aku – Judika


May be it’s just too much. But, wrote this, makes me better. I don’t know why…


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